This quote has been on my 17 year old daughter’s bedroom wall for the last few years. We are both avid quote collectors. I become conscious some time ago that our time together as a family is soon going to change. I have friends who’s children have gone to uni and my friends tell me it’s a hard adjustment. My daughter will be off this year to university and eventually, to a life of her own. And I am glad for her. But what I really want to do now is cultivate a state of mind that makes me glad for me, not sad for me.
I am a mother of 2, my daughter is 17, my son is 14, so I won’t be childless anytime soon, but the dynamic will change when my daughter goes to uni. My son will be still at home, but I am finding my teenage boy is very different to my teenage girl. He won’t want me for shopping or lunch, or trips to the cinema – that’s what he wants to do with his mates. I don’t want to become an overly needy mum to my kids. I want to support them – or as the old saying goes, give them roots, then give them wings.
Which leads me on to the fact that this year I met the author of Flying The Nest – Celia Dodd. A book about how to prepare and stay close to the child leaving home. I met Celia on a course at the Sir John Soane’s museum (another post, for another day). In her book Celia recommends preparing yourself for having more free time before your children leave home, to try and avoid being rushed off your feet one minute with uni prep and next minute realising you have an empty calendar and an empty bedroom in which you have to stop yourself from going into to hug and sniff their pillow! If the pillow is still there that is!
This blog is the start of that journey. Have your children left home yet? If so what is your best piece of advice? If no, are you glad or sad thinking about that time to come?